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Communication, Donor Relations

Fundraising Power Words

Often, we frame our fundraising appeals from the viewpoint, “we, as the organization, do the real work of ministry, and you, as the donor, help us do our work.” We don’t mean any disrespect, but our words give the impression that the donor’s role is to simply provide us the resources so we can educate children, evangelize the lost, disciple new believers, rescue the broken, feed the hungry, and train future leaders, etc.

A more effective approach is to reframe your conversations from ministry-focused to donor-focused. Two fundraising power words will change your messaging: “you” and “because.”

You

“You” is the most powerful fundraising word. Take a close look at your brochure, year-end appeal, banquet ask script, emails, and even your thank you notes. Count how many times you use, “I/we/our” statements and how many times you say, “you/your.” It’s a revealing exercise. One way to make your copy more donor-centric is to switch the focus from “our” to “your.” Consider these examples:

“Our heart is to reach the next generation for Christ. You can help us with that.”

Instead use: “Your heart is to reach the next generation for Christ. We can help you with that.”

“Our hard work” vs. “Your hard work.”

Our mission is to share the Gospel. You can partner with us.

Instead use: Your mission is to share the Gospel. We can partner with you.

Think about using these phrases to engage your ministry partners:

“You play an integral role through your prayers and generosity.”

“You will help people whose greatest desire is a warm meal.”

“Your compassion and unselfish giving will make an eternal difference.”

“This is your compassion at work in the lives of children.”

“We know you have choices for how to donate your money we are honored that you would choose to provide help to these needy families.”

“Every time you give, you are making a lasting difference.”

“You can transform…”

“Your love rescues…”

“You help make their future bright.”

“That is where you come in.”

“You can get involved…”

“God used you to provide hope for children and families.”

“You are doing something that will outlive you and will last for eternity.”

Because

The second most powerful fundraising word is “because” because it answers the question why someone should give to your project. “Because” is a connector word linking the donor’s heart to the critical need. “Because” offers a reason for the donor to take action.

Jerry Panas, the godfather of fundraising, coined the acronym BOY – “Because of you…” What an incredible way to start your donor conversations.

“Because of you lives have been impacted for eternity.”

“Your generous gift matters because students will be transformed.”

“Because of your sacrificial gift those who have never heard the gospel will now have a chance to respond.”

“Because of your kindness these children will now have hope.”

“I’m sharing Elizabeth’s story with you because she needs your help.”

“Because of you, transformational stories like Mary’s can become a reality for other needy children.”

In Paul’s letter to Philemon he uses both “you” and “because.” “Your love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, brother, have refreshed the hearts of the Lord’s people” (Philemon 1:7). Here Paul’s words are totally donor-centric. He appeals to Philemon because his generosity had impacted many other believers. Do you hear Paul’s heart in his phrase, “because you, brother?” Do your donors hear your heart when you ask to partner with them?

How interesting that Paul understood the power of “you” and “because” centuries before Panas. Change your vocabulary and emphasize “you” and “because.” You will be amazed at the results because your words can make an eternal difference.

Client Impact, Donor Relations, Major Donors

The $100,000 Zoom Call!

Have you scheduled a Zoom donor call yet? Perhaps you have been a late adopter and wonder if your ministry partners are willing to connect digitally. Truth be told, probably most of them have been facetiming their grandchildren for months. Video calls are a wonderful tool because you can see your donor’s face and respond to their body language. You can make a deeper connection, see their home, and even comment on an item you might see on a shelf or a family photo on the wall. Here are a few tips to consider.

1. Know Your Platform. Are you using Webex, Zoom, GoToMeeting, Microsoft Teams, or Google Meet? Each platform has its own unique features. Familiarize yourself so you can help guide your ministry partner if they have difficulty.

Understand time limitations. WebEx has a 50-minute time limit and Zoom has a 40-minute cap. Plan your conversation well; you don’t want to rush your ask before the clock runs out. You can avoid this by purchasing an unlimited plan.

Log-on 5 minutes early. Legendary Packer’s coach Vince Lombardi once said, “If you are five minutes early, you are already ten minutes late!” Its much better to wait on your donor than to have your donor wait on you.

Look professional. Check your background, position your camera properly, manage your lighting so your face is visible. All of these are important elements of having a great virtual call.

Consider FaceTime or WhatsApp. Virtual platforms may add a level of complexity for your donor. Offer to use FaceTime or WhatsApp which might be easier and more familiar.

2. Understand Your Audience. Some seniors are very tech savvy; some are not. Know your donors’ tech comfort level and help them have a great experience.

Send an instruction email. Before your meeting send an email with a link and all the information they will need. Do your donors need to download an app? Consider including a how-to document that describes the process step-by-step.

Encourage your donor to keep their camera on. Occasionally, someone doesn’t turn on their video. They might not know which button to push; they might be shy or having a bad hair day. Encourage them by saying, “I’d love to see your face.”

Avoid distractions. We’ve all seen Zoom kids and animals. Try to limit any distractions but don’t freak out if they happen. Just take it in stride.

Have a contingency plan. You might experience internet connection problems. Don’t keep trying a bad connection, just default to a phone call. Let them know that if you get disconnected you will call them.

3. Make a Personal Connection. Video gives you an opportunity to make a much deeper connection than just a voice call.

Clearly communication the purpose of your visit. Let them know in advance if you are planning to ask. Say something like, “I would love to connect with you on a Zoom call to share some current ministry updates and prayer requests and ask if you would consider supporting our year end campaign.”

Focus on your donor. Make the first part of your visit about them and their well-being. Catch up on life since the last time you spoke.

Say “Thank You.” Gratitude never goes out of style. Virtual calls give you an opportunity to look your donors in the eye and genuinely express your heartfelt thanks.

Tune into facial expressions. Always mention how good it is to see their faces. This is especially meaningful during COVID when perhaps they haven’t been able to go to church to see their friends.

4. Tell Your Story. Take advantage of the video platform to creatively tell your story.

Send materials in advance. If you have a brochure or even a gift proposal mail or email it in advance to give them time to read it and think about questions they may have.

Include other team members. Virtual meetings give you the flexibility to include your president, a board member, and a faculty or staff member. Use these expert witnesses to add excitement to your meeting and build a strong case for support.

Give a virtual tour. Take your iPad and walk around your building or campus and let your donors see your ministry in real time.

Share a video. If you can’t take a tour, consider showing a video. Be sure to practice first. Videos can add so much to the conversation but it’s one more thing that could go wrong.

5. Focus on Outcomes. If you don’t have a plan for your meeting, it can easily drift into just a pleasant conversation.

Identify three outcomes. Put a post-it note with your meeting outcomes on your monitor to remind you to accomplish your goal. These could be to gather personal information, identify giving interests, discover motivations, or ask for a specific gift, etc.

Stick to your time limit. Virtual calls tend to be more focused. Don’t rush the conversation but realize that a donor’s attention span may be less than the Zoom imposed time limit. Follow the three “B’s” (Be Sharp, Be Brief, and Be Gone).

Establish your next steps. Don’t hang up without outlining your follow-up plan. If they need time to pray about their gift decision ask, “Would it be okay if I called you in a couple of weeks to hear how the Lord might be leading you to partner with us?”

Follow-up. Treat virtual donor calls as you would in-person calls. Send a hand-written note. Answer any questions they asked in the meeting. Share additional information. Check on their gift decision and pray with your donor.

Cross International works with partners in 14 countries reaching out to 40,000 children and families though 46 projects like food, clean water, orphan and childcare, medical aid, education, housing, disaster relief, and microenterprise opportunities. Cross has a small team of three Individual Donor Officers (IDO) and a new mid-level donor representative.

Kristen, one of their IDOs, has been cultivating a donor who was interested in a food project in Guatemala. This ministry partner gave $1,000 last year, so Kristen followed up with thank you notes, reached out with phone calls and emails, and attempted a personal meeting. The donor didn’t have time for a meeting, but later sent $40,000. Kristen continued the conversation and earlier this year the donor wanted to travel to Guatemala to meet the team but COVID restrictions prevented him. So, Kristen offered a Zoom visit with the executive director, herself, and their Guatemalan partners. The donor asked his questions directly to the field staff doing the work. As a result of that conversation he made a $100,000 gift!

Virtual visits work, yet they don’t always go smoothly. You can be fully prepared, but Murphy’s Law applies especially to technology. Kristen had scheduled three interviews, unfortunately one of the partners could not connect. The donor was understanding about the limitations of technology in developing countries and thanked Kristen for all her work to schedule the meetings.

One last note: The donor had car trouble that day and logged on from his phone while stuck on the side of the road waiting for a tow truck. This donor has an incredibly busy schedule, but God slowed him down that day so he could hear a great impact story directly from international ministry partners.

Be creative in your approach to virtual meetings and boldly tell your story to your donors. Perhaps God will throw open the floodgates of heaven for your ministry.

Donor Relations

Speak Your Donor’s Language

Your ministry sends lots of messages to your donors through direct mail, newsletters, annual reports, website, social media, email, and face-to-face meetings—but are you really connecting? Countless other organizations are also competing for your donors’ attention. Cut through the communication noise and learn what major donors really want to hear from you.

Tune in and learn from Pat how to share your story and genuinely touch the hearts of your donors.

 

Donor Relations, Fundraising Verse of the Week, Major Donors

Not Just Donors, Friends!

“I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you” (John 15:15).

Do you treat your donors as servants or friends? Do you only care about your donors for what they have and what they can do for you instead of who they are and what you can do for them? Jesus makes an amazing statement to his disciples, “I have called you friends.” Yes, we are Christ’s servants, but he has elevated our relationship status to friend and desires to be your close friend. You should elevate your donors to friends.

Terminology. How we refer to our supporters reveals how we view them. Sometimes we identify them by a number we’ve assigned them in our software. Sometimes we categorize them by their giving history or capacity. We refer to LYBUNTS (meaning they gave last year but not this year) or SYBUNTS (meaning they gave some year but not this year). Subconsciously or consciously we often view our donors as dollar signs. Make a significant shift in your vocabulary and start referring to your donors as ministry partners.

Trust. How does a servant become a friend? The answer is by building trust. Joseph was a faithful servant who eventually rose to second in command because he could be trusted. The trust we develop with our ministry partners is built over years of keeping our word. Do what you say you will do. If you promise to follow up with an answer to their question, follow up promptly. If you indicate you will use their gift for a certain project, don’t shift their funds to something else without asking their permission. It’s difficult to repair the damage caused by broken trust.

Transparency. Jesus treats us as friends by communicating fully with us. “A servant doesn’t know his master’s business.” Servants are kept in the dark about their master’s full intentions. Sometimes we keep our donors in the dark about our ministry plans. Jesus is completely transparent; everything he learned from his father he has shared with us. Treating your donors as friends means you genuinely care for them and communicate openly and honestly about your needs. Your transparency will earn you the opportunity to ask for their help.

Henri Nouwen made this insightful statement about a fundraiser’s relationship with donors, “Once we are prayerfully committed to placing our whole trust in God, and have become clear that we are concerned only for the Kingdom; once we have learned to love the rich for who they are rather than what they have; and once we believe that we have something of great value to give them, then we will have no trouble at all in asking someone for a large sum of money.”

If we love the rich for who they are we will view them as friends, even close friends. If we love the rich for what they have we will see them only as a means to an end – their means to support our end. Let Nouwen’s phrase sink into your heart, “Love the rich for who they are rather than what they have.” What will you do this week to build trust with your ministry partners?

Have a Spirit-led fundraising week,

Ron


Ron Haas has served the Lord as a pastor, the vice president of advancement of a Bible college, a Christian foundation director, a board member and a fundraising consultant. He’s authored two books: Ask for a Fish – Bold Faith-Based Fundraising and Simply Share – Bold, Grace-Based Giving. He regularly presents fundraising workshops at ministry conferences and has written fundraising articles for At the Center magazine and Christian Leadership Alliance’s Outcomes magazine.

Donor Relations, Major Donors

Do They Love The Gift or Me? A Guest Meditation by Jim Devries

“The wall was made of jasper, and the city of pure gold as pure as glass… the twelve gates were twelve pearls, each gate made of a single pearl. The great street of the city was of pure gold, like transparent glass.” Revelation 21:18-21

Does God need our money? Of course not! He makes it clear that man’s standard of wealth, precious metals and jewels in this case, is of so little value that in the new heaven and earth it will be used for building purposes. They will be used to construct buildings and will be trod upon in the streets. What God wants first and foremost is a vital living relationship with us.

Unfortunately, human relationships can go awry when money comes into the picture. Material success brings with it loneliness. You may sense a growing discomfort and even separation from former friends who wonder why you were blessed with riches and they were passed by. Members of your church may question your spirituality—particularly if they haven’t taken the time to get to know you. After all, the Bible says it’s easier to get a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a wealthy person to enter heaven, so some people believe that being wealthy is evil.

The hardest relationships for me to sort out, however, are the ones that give me mixed signals. I find myself wondering, “Does this organization or person really want my advice, or is this some kind of mating dance so that they can get their hands on my wallet?” I can’t read people’s minds, but I do know what is on God’s mind. He clearly loves me just as I am, not because of my possessions.

Response: Thank you, Lord, for Your wondrous gift of your Son. Help me to value myself so that I can understand your unconditional love for me. Help me to put the right perspective on those who desire my wealth and don’t value me. Help me forgive: ______, who has hurt me by valuing me for what I can do for them.

Think About This: Wealth often brings pride along with it. Who do I know that is wealthy and humble? Do I need to spend some time with them in order to discover their secret?

About the Author: Jim DeVries graduated from the University of Michigan with a degree in mechanical engineering. In 1979, he began a medical device company, DLP Inc, which he sold to Metronic Inc. in 1984. The company at that time had operations in three European countries and sold products to open heart centers worldwide. While working in the medical field, Jim receive over 50 patents in the areas of open-heart surgery and cell separation.

Jim’s devotional e-book, Work, Wealth, Wisdom & Worship: Meditations for Leaders, is available on Amazon.


 

Donor Relations, Fundraising Verse of the Week, Major Donors, Stewardship

Determined Generosity

“But generous people plan to do what is generous, and they stand firm in their generosity.” Isaiah 32:8 NLT

Sometimes people who receive think that giving is easy, but that’s not true. Satan doesn’t want God’s kingdom to thrive, so he hurls many fiery darts at believers to discourage them from overflowing with generosity. Even when someone is inclined to give, many barriers stand in the way. Consider these three:

Family. People often use family obligations as an excuse for not giving. The friend at midnight’s friend even said, “my children and I are in bed. I can’t get up and give you anything” (Luke 11:7). Parents and grandparents are squeezed to pay tuition—sometimes even through post-doctoral studies! Some are legitimately focused on providing critical care their children; others fixate on supplying “the cares of this world.” Giving becomes even more challenging when children oppose their grandparents’ or parents’ charitable decisions. However, generous people view their family needs in light of eternity and make room for generosity.

Finances. You may think that wealthy people should be more generous because they don’t have to worry about money. They might not worry in a sinful sense, but often they are concerned about making wise stewardship decisions. There are times when a donor may want to give, but simply cannot. Fred was asked if he would consider supporting a campaign, he initially indicated he would give $25,000, but after prayer and reconsidering his other obligations he decided to give $10,000. Our proper response is gratitude, not disappointment.

Fear. Satan throws his ultimate weapons of fear and doubt at generous people. “If I give, will I have enough to meet my needs (Matthew 6:33)?  “How can I be sure that God will ‘throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it’” (Malachi 3:10)? Giving requires immense faith no matter your net worth. Fear can surprise even a well-intentioned donor at any time in the giving process, even after they have verbally agreed to support your ministry.

Thankfully, generous people stand firm in their generosity, but that doesn’t make their giving decisions simple or easy. Pray fervently that your donors would stand against the devil’s excuses. Satan knows that if he cuts off your supply lines, he will weaken your ministry. Surround your ministry partners with your shield of faith to help extinguish the flaming arrows aimed at their hearts. Pause right now and pray for your key friends seeking God’s wisdom for what to give, to whom, and when.

Have a Spirit-led fundraising week,

Ron


Ron Haas has served the Lord as a pastor, the vice president of advancement of a Bible college, a Christian foundation director, a board member and a fundraising consultant. He’s authored two books: Ask for a Fish – Bold Faith-Based Fundraising and Simply Share – Bold, Grace-Based Giving. He regularly presents fundraising workshops at ministry conferences and has written fundraising articles for At the Center magazine and Christian Leadership Alliance’s Outcomes magazine.

Capital Campaigns, Donor Relations, Major Donors

Fundraising Tips from John D. Rockefeller, Jr.

Today, when you hear the word, “philanthropy,” you think of Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, or Chuck Feeney. Perhaps one of the most generous philanthropists in the past century was John D. Rockefeller, Jr. (1874-1960), the only son and principal heir of John Rockefeller, the founder of Standard Oil. Historians estimate that during Junior’s lifetime he gave away $537 million dollars, which adjusted for inflation, is more than $10 billion.

Junior had many giving interests including conservation, preserving historical landmarks, collecting fine art, promoting world peace, and supporting religious causes. Countless charities turned to him for support. Not only would he give, he would also invite his friends to give, and train organizations in the finer points of asking. In 1933, he delivered this speech, “The Technique of Soliciting,” to campaign volunteers who were raising funds for the Citizens Family Welfare Committee. Listen to his counsel and apply his suggestions to your fundraising efforts.

“I have been asked to say a few words on the technique of soliciting donations.

Perhaps the best way to acquire a knowledge of that subject is to ask ourselves the question, ‘How would I like to be approached for a gift?’ The answer if carefully thought out, may be relied upon as a pretty safe guide to the task of soliciting. I have been brought up to believe, and the conviction only grows on me, that giving ought to be entered into in just the same careful way as investing — that giving is investing, and that it should be tested by the same intelligent standards. Whether we expect dividends in dollars or in human betterment, we need to be sure that the gift or the investment is a wise one and therefore we should know all about it. By the same token, if we are going to other people to interest them in giving to a particular enterprise we must be able to give them adequate information in regard to it, such information as we would want were we considering a gift.

First of all, then, a solicitor must be well informed in regard to the salient facts about the enterprise for which he is soliciting. Just what is its significance, its importance? How sound is the organization back of it, how well organized? How great is the need? An accurate knowledge of these and similar facts is necessary in order that the solicitor may be able to speak with conviction.

It is a great help to know something about the person whom you are approaching. You cannot deal successfully with all people the same way. Therefore, it is desirable to find out something about the person you are going to — what his interests are, whether you have any friends in common, whether he gave last year, if so, how much he gave, what he might be able to give this year, etc. Information such as that puts you more closely in touch with him and makes the approach easier.

Again, one always likes to know what other people are giving. That may be an irrelevant question, but it is a human question. If I am asked for a contribution, naturally and properly I am influenced in deciding how much I should give by what others are doing.

Another suggestion I like to have made to me by a solicitor is how much it is hoped I will give. Of course, such a suggestion can be made in a way that might be most annoying. I do not like to have anyone tell me what it is my duty to give. There is just one man who is going to decide that question — who has the responsibility of deciding it — and that is myself. But I do like a man to say to me, ‘We are trying to raise $4,000,000 and are hoping you may be desirous of giving $_____.  If you see your way clear to do so, it will be an enormous help and encouragement. You may have it in mind to give more; if so, we shall be glad. On the other hand, you may feel you cannot give as much, in view of other responsibilities. If that is the case, we shall understand.

Whatever you give after thinking the matter over carefully in the light of the need, your other obligations, and your desire to do your full share as a citizen, will be gratefully received and deeply appreciated.’ When you talk like that to a man, he is glad to meet you again, and will not take the other elevator when he sees you in the corridor because you backed him to the wall and forced him to give.

Of supreme importance is to make a pleasant, friendly contact with the prospective giver. Some people have a less keen sense of their duty and responsibility than others. With them, a little urging may be helpful. But with most people a convincing presentation of the facts and the need is far more effective. When a solicitor comes to you and lays on your heart the responsibility that rests so heavily on his; when his earnestness gives convincing evidence of how seriously interested he is; when he makes it clear that he knows you are no less anxious to do your duty in the manner than he is, that you are just as conscientious, that he feels sure all you need is to realize the importance of the enterprise and the urgency of the need in order to lead you to do your full share in meeting it — he has made you his friend and has brought you to think of giving as a  privilege.

Never think you need to apologize for asking someone to give to a worthy object, any more than as though you were giving him an opportunity to participate in a high- grade investment. The duty of giving is as much his as is the duty of asking yours. Whether or not he should give to that particular enterprise, and if so, how much, it is for him alone to decide.

To recapitulate, then, briefly: know your subject; be so sold on it yourself that you can convincingly present its claims in the fewest possible words. A letter may well precede an interview, but personal contact is the most effective. Know as much as you can about the man to whom you go; give him a general idea to the contributions being made by others in his group, and suggest in a gracious and tactful way what you would be glad to have him give, leaving it entirely to him to decide what he shall give.

Be kindly and considerate. Thus, will you get closest to a man’s heart and his pocketbook.”

Resource: “The Technique of Soliciting” by John D. Rockefeller Jr. (1874-1960), a speech he delivered to the Citizens Family Welfare Committee in New York City in 1933.


 

Donor Relations, Fundraising Verse of the Week, Major Donors

Passing the Donor Test

“When the queen of Sheba heard of Solomon’s fame, she came to Jerusalem to test him with hard questions. Arriving with a very great caravan—with camels carrying spices, large quantities of gold, and precious stones—she came to Solomon and talked with him about all she had on her mind. 2 Solomon answered all her questions; nothing was too hard for him to explain to her. 3 When the queen of Sheba saw the wisdom of Solomon, as well as the palace he had built, 4 the food on his table, the seating of his officials, the attending servants in their robes, the cupbearers in their robes and the burnt offerings he made at the temple of the Lord, she was overwhelmed.” 2 Chronicles 9:1-4

Donors are investors. John D. Rockefeller, Jr. once said, “I have been brought up to believe, and the conviction only grows on me, that giving ought to be entered into in just the same careful way as investing–that giving is investing, and that it should be tested by the same intelligent standards. Whether we expect dividends in dollars or human betterment, we need to be sure that the gift or the investment is a wise one and therefore we should know all about it.”

Solomon was by no means a charity case, but the queen of Sheba came with expensive gifts and hard questions. He answered her every question, nothing was too difficult for him. Major donors also ask hard questions. They conduct the same due diligence as they would for a potential business partnership and look for least three key indicators.

Fiscal Responsibility. Businesspeople want to know that your ministry plans make sound financial sense. They may want to review your audit, challenge your financial projections, and question your strategic plan. The bottom line is they want assurance that if they give significantly, you will manage their gift well. “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much” (Luke 16:10).

Spiritual Impact. Kingdom givers want spiritual outcomes and resonate with everything you do that advances the Gospel. Supply facts and figures that demonstrate your ministry effectiveness. Always tell your story through the stories of the lives you have reached for Christ. Be just as concerned about your spiritual accounting as you are of your fiscal accounting.

Healthy Organization. Wise donors know that only spiritually healthy organizations can make an eternal difference. Solomon’s kingdom was breathtaking. The palace was beautiful, the food superb; everything and everyone were in their right places. The queen even noted his attending servants’ exquisite uniforms. But what caught her attention was how happy Solomon’s people were (v. 7). She recognized that God was the reason Solomon’s court was so special. “Praise be to the Lord your God, who has delighted in you” (v. 8).

For the queen, seeing was believing. Solomon exceeded her expectations. She was amazed at his wisdom and how God had blessed him in every imaginable way. Will your ministry pass the donor test? Interestingly, Solomon gave her more that she brought to him (v. 12). That’s true for your donors and you. They bless you with their gifts, but your gift to them is far greater. By partnering with your ministry, they will lay up treasures in heaven!

Have a Spirit-led fundraising week,

Ron


Ron Haas has served the Lord as a pastor, the vice president of advancement of a Bible college, a Christian foundation director, a board member and a fundraising consultant. He’s authored two books: Ask for a Fish – Bold Faith-Based Fundraising and Simply Share – Bold, Grace-Based Giving. He regularly presents fundraising workshops at ministry conferences and has written fundraising articles for At the Center magazine and Christian Leadership Alliance’s Outcomes magazine.

Donor Relations, Fundraising, Major Donors

Do I Have to be a Donor’s Best Friend to Ask for a Gift?

This is a fair question that the men and women of TTG have been asked many times over the past 30+ years. Please allow me to go out on a limb early and give you a simple answer… “NO!” Let me harken back to my high school algebra class where you can give the right answer, but then you must produce the equation to show how you got there, so here goes.

We have been conducting executive searches for more than 25 years. One of the questions we ask development directors, major gift officers, vice presidents, and presidents is, “If you began your new position on November 1st, how long would it take you to schedule a donor appointment and make an ask?” Are you ready for some of their answers? Two years, eighteen months, twelve months, six months, three months—we too, are baffled by these responses. These candidates assume that they must be the donor’s friend and, in some instances, their BFF to make a gift request. Can you imagine how long donor acquisition, cultivation, education, inspiration, and solicitation would take if you had to become everyone’s best friend to ask for a gift? Apparently, according to some people, it would require at least a year and perhaps two.

A few years ago, in a search for a major gift officer for a well-known ministry, I asked that question and received an absolutely refreshing answer. My candidate responded that he would be ready to make an ask the first week on the job. What? How could that possibly work? Here’s how he envisioned his first week as a new fundraiser/relationship officer:

·       Day 1 – Orientation and paperwork.

·       Day 2 – Find my desk and begin reviewing the solicitation materials and the giving history of his donor portfolio.

·       Day 3 – Meet with his immediate supervisor and other team members to hear their presentation/pitch.

·       Day 4 – Visit the president to hear his mission, vision, and core values of the organization.

·       Day 5 – Call close friends and schedule personal appointments to share the ministry and make a request.

In addition, all week this new major gift officer spent time in the dining commons having breakfast, lunch, and sometime dinner with students asking them why they attended this institution. He listened to what God was calling them to do now and in the future, because he wanted to share their stories as part of his presentation.

We helped him with the phone script for scheduling appointments, but much of his donor engagement strategy was just his innate, God-given relational skills. The script went like this:

Bill and Mary, this is John. I wanted to tell you about a wonderful new opportunity God has given me. I have the unique privilege of sharing the incredible work God is accomplishing though ABC Ministry and inviting people to partner with us. Don’t feel under any obligation to our friendship; I just want to share with you this unique organization and ask for your prayer and financial support. Could we meet Tuesday evening in your home? I will update you on the ministry and bring along a personalized proposal for you to consider and invite you to give. I only need an hour of your time so we can both plan our other Tuesday evening activities.”

He included this phrase in the presentation to those who were already donors:

“Jim and Joan, the president would like to visit with you personally, but time and his travel schedule will not allow it. So, he asked me to meet with you on his behalf and invite you to consider a generous year-end gift. Would you be available next Tuesday evening?”

As a fundraiser, it’s not your relationship with the donor that’s the most important. It’s the donor’s relationship with your ministry they have known, loved, and supported with their prayers and dollars for many years.

Back to answering our question; No, you do not have to be everyone or anyone’s best friend to ask for a gift. The real issue is connecting with the donor’s passion for your ministry. When you tell them you are bringing along a proposal, you open the door to ask on the first visit, if the opportunity is right.

OK, OK, I hear you, “but what about building relationships?” We encourage our clients to “date your donors.” You may not be ready to ask your donor on the first date, it may require a second date. But it certainly doesn’t take five or six dates to reintroduce yourself and make a request. Overcome your FUD—Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt. Pick up the phone, text, write a hand-written note, and schedule a personal visit (in a mask, of course), or a Zoom call. This step of faith will impact your bottom line the next 90 days as we head toward calendar year-end.

A few years ago, I evaluated a chief development officer’s performance. We visited a donor couple in early October. While driving there, he informed me this would be his sixth visit. Count them, six! My role was only to observe and evaluate. Twice during the presentation, the couple mentioned they had some funds still available to give yet that fall. This was the ultimate donor research information. They were screaming, “ASK US!”

My friend never missed a beat, he just kept talking. He ignored all their giving signs. No ask… no close… no money. It was very apparent that he was attempting to become their best friend or even their BFF before he could make an ask. It will come as no surprise that this former gift officer is now pastoring a small church on the west coast. Allow me to say it again, “No, you don’t need to be your donor’s best friend to invite them to upgrade their giving or consider a new gift to your organization.” Be bold! Ask!

Author: Pat McLaughlin, President and Founding Partner

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