Ever get tongue-tied around someone of significant wealth? You’re not alone. Most of us do.
And if we’re honest, there’s something else going on too. We sometimes wonder if we’re being genuine or just working an angle. That tension is real. But the best major donor conversations happen when you stop thinking about the gift and start getting genuinely curious about the person.
Philip found himself next to one of the most important people in Ethiopia, a man who managed the queen’s entire treasury. He didn’t freeze up or launch into a pitch. He asked a question and listened. The Spirit had already gone ahead of him. Philip just showed up ready to engage.
That’s a pretty good model for your next donor visit. Instead of rehearsing what you’re going to say, show up ready to ask and ready to listen. Here are some questions to get a real conversation going.
Break the ice
- “How did you first get connected with us?”
- “What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?”
Find out what they care about
- “What causes are closest to your heart right now?”
- “Is there a problem in the world you’d really love to see solved in your lifetime?”
- “Was generosity something you grew up with, or did it develop later in life?”
Understand how they think about giving
- “Do you tend to give broadly, or go deep with a few organizations you really believe in?”
- “What’s the most meaningful gift you’ve ever made, and what made it feel that way?”
Learn how they see your work
- “What’s your honest impression of what we’re doing?”
- “If you could see us accomplish one thing in the next five years, what would it be?”
Listen for the longer view
- “When you think about the difference you want to make with your resources, what comes to mind?”
- “What do you hope your giving says about what mattered to you?”
A few things to keep in mind. Open-ended questions almost always beat yes-or-no ones. On a first visit, your goal isn’t to make an ask. It’s to understand the person in front of you. Aim to listen 70% of the time. And the most useful follow-up to almost anything a donor says is simply this: “Tell me more about that.”
Think about this: The Spirit told Philip exactly which chariot to approach. He didn’t figure that out on his own. Then Philip asked one good question, and a man’s life was changed forever. You don’t have to manufacture the right conversations. Ask the Lord to order your steps. He knows who is ready, and He can get you there.
Response: Father, guide my steps to those You’ve already prepared. Help me listen more than I talk. Help me care more about the person in front of me than the gift I’m hoping for. And let our conversations matter, for their sake, not just ours. Amen.
