“If it pleases the king,” replied Esther, “let the king, together with Haman, come today to a banquet I have prepared for him” (Esther 5:4).

Esther faced a life-or-death moment with calmness and grace.

Her people faced extinction. Haman had schemed to annihilate the Jewish people. She didn’t barge into the throne room and blurt out her request because no one approached the king uninvited. The king had to extend his golden scepter to grant an audience.
He did and asked, “What is your request? Even up to half the kingdom, it will be given you” (Esther 5:3). It sounded like an open door. But Esther teaches us something most fundraisers learn the hard way. She asked permission to ask.

Don’t Rush Cultivation
Esther had two chances to make her request and waited both times. When Xerxes came to her first banquet, she invited him to come back the next day. Most of us would have asked on the spot. We are driven by our fundraising timeline and can push the relationship farther and faster than the donor is ready to go.

The real tension in fundraising is always this: more cultivation, or ask now?

Permission
Esther was masterful in her deference. “If the king regards me with favor and if it pleases the king to grant my petition and fulfill my request” (Esther 5:8). Every phrase she used was from the king’s point of view. Regards me with favor. Pleases the king. Grant. Fulfill.

We need to see giving opportunities from our donor’s perspective. Are they favorable to the project? Is this something they want to give to? We ask permission to ask when we’re more curious about their readiness than we are anxious about our deadline.

Anticipation
Donors indicate they are ready by asking what salespeople call “buy questions,” questions that signal they are already imagining themselves giving:

• What outcomes will this project accomplish?
• Why is this vital now?
• What won’t happen if this project isn’t completed?

When you hear those questions, the second banquet is about to begin.

Leave Room for God
The night between the two banquets, King Xerxes couldn’t sleep and called for the government records to be read aloud. God directed his servant to the passage where Mordecai had saved the king’s life. Stop and consider how improbable that is. The king, awake in the middle of the night. The servant, opening to exactly the right page. By morning, Xerxes was motivated to make things right, and Haman’s schemes began to unravel.

Esther never could have arranged any of that. She simply waited, and God was working in the dark.

God is already working in your donor’s heart. He is arranging the sleepless nights, the conversations you didn’t know happened, the conviction that make a donor lean forward and say, “Tell me more.” Your job is faithfulness. The rest belongs to Him. This is the part of fundraising no training can teach.

Her ask was successful because she waited for the perfect time.

Think About This: Where are you rushing a donor who isn’t ready yet?

Response: Lord, thank you for moving in our donors’ hearts in ways we cannot see, arranging the moments we could never plan, and making them ready to say “yes.”

Then the Lord said to Moses, “Write this on a scroll as something to be remembered and make sure that Joshua hears it” (Exodus 17:14).

You had a great meeting last Tuesday. The donor, a longtime supporter of your ministry, opened up about why this work matters to his family. He mentioned his father’s story. He referenced a gift he has been thinking about for two years. He said something about his estate plan. You shook hands, walked to your car, and thought, “That was a great visit.”

You remember most of it. But will you remember it in six months? Will your colleague who takes that meeting after you leave the organization? Will the next president who inherits that relationship know what that donor said about his father?

That question is exactly where Exodus 17:14 lands.

God told Moses to write down the victory. And then He added something striking: make sure Joshua hears it. Why? Joshua was there. He fought the battle. He felt the tide turn every time Moses’ hands dropped and surge again when Aaron and Hur held them up. Joshua lived it. Even though Joshua experienced it firsthand, God wanted it on the record.

The Scroll Is Your CRM
A contact report is not a bureaucratic checkbox. It is an act of stewardship. What a donor shares in a visit, a phone call, or a quiet lunch is irreplaceable information. It reveals what God is doing in their heart. It tells you where they are in their journey toward a gift. It captures what is really being said underneath what is being said. If it is not recorded, it is lost.

And when the information is lost, so is the relationship thread. Your CRM is your ministry’s scroll. It holds what God has done through donor relationships so the next person in that conversation does not start from zero. It protects the relationship when staff turns over, memories fade, or a major donor conversation goes quiet for months.
The question is not whether you had a good visit. The question is whether you wrote it down.

Prepared for a Conversation He Could Not Yet See
God was building something in Joshua before Joshua knew he needed it. He was preparing the next leader for conversations and challenges that had not happened yet.

Your contact reports do the same thing. What you record today prepares someone you may never meet for a relationship that has not reached its full potential yet. Your successor will sit across from that donor someday. Your president will make an ask. Your board chair will make a call. They will need to know what you know. Do not make them start from zero.

Think About This:

How quickly after your last donor visit did you get the conversation into your CRM?

What is sitting in your memory right now that belongs in your CRM?

What would it look like to be the kind of steward who writes it down before the day is over?

Response: Lord, You are a God who writes things down. Help us see our contact reports not as paperwork but as stewardship. May what we record today become the foundation for generosity we will never see. Amen.

“But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).

A Japanese visitor came to the United States for the World Cup. He walked into a Mexican restaurant, sat down, and before he could even open a menu, a basket of chips and salsa appeared on the table.

He held up his hand. “We have not earned these.”

The waiter smiled. “They just come with the table, man.”

Chips and salsa before we sat down.

In his culture, hospitality is a debt. Every gift carries weight. Every kindness must eventually be repaid. You receive nothing before you have proven yourself worthy.

But grace doesn’t work that way.

God did not wait until we had proven ourselves worthy. The gift arrived before we ordered. Before we deserved it. Romans 5:8 doesn’t say Christ died for the righteous or the promising. It says while we were still sinners. The timing is the whole point.

This ‘give first’ posture shapes the way we build donor relationships. Here are four places to start.

Listen First. In every donor conversation, the urge is to lead with your ministry story. Resist it. Focus on your donor. Ask curious questions and be genuinely interested in the answer. Treat every donor like a major donor. After a donor mentions their daughter’s college search or a business challenge they’re navigating, follow up on it at your next meeting. That one detail, remembered and revisited, speaks volumes.

Offer Insights. Donors notice the same thing we notice about God: proof beats promises. God followed his words with action. So can you. Ask a thoughtful question about a challenge they mentioned and come back with a resource that addresses it. Small, specific gestures communicate: I see you. You matter to me before you give a single dollar.

Give Without Keeping Score. Mail them a book you genuinely think they’d love. Celebrate something they’ve accomplished. Send a handwritten note when you see their business mentioned in the news. The transactional mindset says: invest in donors in proportion to their likely return. The relational mindset says something different: give generously, give early, and trust that genuine care bears fruit in its own season.

Make Introductions. Connect two people who could genuinely benefit from knowing each other. Be clear about why you’re making the connection and what each person stands to gain. When you bring two people together with no agenda other than their mutual good, you build the kind of trust that no pitch deck ever could.

Think About This: The chips and salsa are not the meal. They’re the welcome. They’re the signal that says: you are wanted here, and we were ready for you before you arrived. Every donor you serve is deciding whether they feel welcomed before they’re needed.

Years from now, that Japanese visitor probably will still think about that basket of chips. Not because the food was extraordinary. But because no one had ever welcomed him before he asked. That could be the story a donor tells about you.

Response: Lord, thank you for your grace that arrived before we deserved it. Teach us to lead with generosity. Help us to give first and trust you with the harvest. Amen.

“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if you have enough money to complete it?” Luke 14:28

Jesus had no patience for half-built towers. In Luke 14, he makes it plain: before you build, sit down and count the cost. Starting well is not enough. You must know what it will take to finish before you ever break ground.

Bill leads a social service ministry and wanted to launch a housing initiative. He believed his message was compelling and skipped the feasibility study. He announced the campaign at his gala assuming donors would jump in. They didn’t and his campaign stalled.

When a ministry feels the stirring to launch a capital campaign, the natural impulse is to move fast. The need is real. The vision is compelling. The board is excited. So why slow down? Because a feasibility study will reveal four things you cannot afford to move forward without knowing.

Readiness. Is your organization healthy enough to run a campaign right now? Your donors are already asking whether your leadership, staff, and board are capable of carrying this through, even if they have never said it out loud. A feasibility study is not a sign of weak faith, it is wise stewardship.

Clarity. Do your donors understand and believe in the vision? A feasibility study forces you to write down your specific plans. It tests your assumptions by giving your best donors the chance to speak honestly before they are ever asked to give. You learn what resonates, what concerns them, and whether your goal is too low, too high, or right on target.

Relationships. Your top ten donors will make or break your campaign. If they are behind your project, you will reach your goal. If they are reluctant, your project is in jeopardy. A feasibility study also surfaces who those donors know, opening doors to new relationships that can strengthen the campaign.

Money. Launching a campaign without knowing your donors’ capacity and conviction is like building on sand. The feasibility study asks donors directly whether they support the project and what they might consider giving. That intelligence does not just tell you if the goal is reachable. It tells you how to ask, who to ask first, and what will move them to say yes. Campaigns that skip this step launch with fanfare and quietly fall short, leaving donors skeptical and leaders discouraged.

The feasibility study tells you whether you have enough of all four to proceed, and if not, what needs to be strengthened first.

Bill wishes he had slowed down. You don’t have to make the same mistake.

Think About This: Jesus said the man who starts a tower without counting the cost will be mocked when he cannot finish it. The feasibility study is how you avoid that outcome. It is how you honor your donors, protect your organization, and steward the vision God has given you.

Response: Father, give us the wisdom to count the cost before we build, the courage to ask hard questions, and the faith to trust what you reveal. May every campaign we launch bring glory to you and blessing to those we serve.

“The Spirit told Philip, ‘Go to that chariot and stay near it.’ Then Philip ran up to the chariot and heard the man reading Isaiah the prophet. ‘Do you understand what you are reading?’ Philip asked” Acts 8:29-30.

Ever get tongue-tied around someone of significant wealth? You’re not alone. Most of us do.

And if we’re honest, there’s something else going on too. We sometimes wonder if we’re being genuine or just working an angle. That tension is real. But the best major donor conversations happen when you stop thinking about the gift and start getting genuinely curious about the person.

Philip found himself next to one of the most important people in Ethiopia, a man who managed the queen’s entire treasury. He didn’t freeze up or launch into a pitch. He asked a question and listened. The Spirit had already gone ahead of him. Philip just showed up ready to engage.

That’s a pretty good model for your next donor visit. Instead of rehearsing what you’re going to say, show up ready to ask and ready to listen. Here are some questions to get a real conversation going.

Break the ice

• “How did you first get connected with us?”
• “What do you enjoy doing when you’re not working?”

Find out what they care about

• “What causes are closest to your heart right now?”
• “Is there a problem in the world you’d really love to see solved in your lifetime?”
• “Was generosity something you grew up with, or did it develop later in life?”

Understand how they think about giving

• “Do you tend to give broadly, or go deep with a few organizations you really believe in?”
• “What’s the most meaningful gift you’ve ever made, and what made it feel that way?”

Learn how they see your work

• “What’s your honest impression of what we’re doing?”
• “If you could see us accomplish one thing in the next five years, what would it be?”

Listen for the longer view

• “When you think about the difference you want to make with your resources, what comes to mind?”
• “What do you hope your giving says about what mattered to you?”

A few things to keep in mind. Open-ended questions almost always beat yes-or-no ones. On a first visit, your goal isn’t to make an ask. It’s to understand the person in front of you. Aim to listen 70% of the time. And the most useful follow-up to almost anything a donor says is simply this: “Tell me more about that.”

Think about this: The Spirit told Philip exactly which chariot to approach. He didn’t figure that out on his own. Then Philip asked one good question, and a man’s life was changed forever. You don’t have to manufacture the right conversations. Ask the Lord to order your steps. He knows who is ready, and He can get you there.

Response: Father, guide my steps to those You’ve already prepared. Help me listen more than I talk. Help me care more about the person in front of me than the gift I’m hoping for. And let our conversations matter, for their sake, not just ours. Amen.

“I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:14

Paul paints a picture of a runner pressing toward the finish line, “straining toward what is ahead” (Philippians 3:13). Think of the marathon runner in the final mile, lungs burning, legs weak but still moving forward on nothing but will and the sight of the finish line.

That describes fundraising. The calls that go unreturned for weeks. The major donor who leaned in and then went completely silent. The board member who wants results but doesn’t help. There comes a moment in every fundraiser’s year when exhaustion wins and you cry out like Frodo, “I can’t do this, Sam.”

Sam responded with this:

“I know. It’s all wrong. By rights we shouldn’t even be here. But we are. It’s like in the great stories, Mr. Frodo. The ones that really mattered. Full of darkness and danger they were. And sometimes you didn’t want to know the end. Because how could the end be happy? How could the world go back to how it was when so much bad had happened? But in the end, it’s only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass. A new day will come. And when the sun shines it will shine out the clearer. Those were the stories that stayed with you. That meant something, even if you were too small to understand why. But I think, Mr. Frodo, I do understand. I know now. Folk in those stories had lots of chances of turning back, only they didn’t. They kept going, because they were holding on to something… That there’s some good in this world, Mr. Frodo. And it’s worth fighting for.”

You Are in a Great Story
Sam refused to let darkness have the final word. That is exactly the attitude you need. Every unreturned call, every campaign that stalls, every board that is losing hope, these are not signs that God has abandoned your ministry. They are the middle of the story, and the middle is always the hardest part. You are not failing. You are in the part that requires patient endurance.

The Challenges Are Real
College presidents wrestle with declining enrollment and strained budgets. Rescue mission directors watch the need grow while their giving base shrinks. Christian school leaders pour energy into a major donor that always feels one conversation away from a breakthrough. The details differ. The exhaustion is the same. You are not imagining it.

Keep Going
Selah’s “Press On” was released just one month before September 11, 2001. In the following weeks, radio stations played it on heavy rotation while the nation tried to find its footing.

“When the choices are hard, when we’re battered and scarred | When we’ve spent our resources | When we’ve given our all | In Jesus’ name, we press on.”

That is still the word. Press on.

Think About This: Are you carrying a burden right now that feels too heavy to finish? Tell the Lord exactly where you are. He already knows.

Response: Lord, help me see your plan in a dark moment. Give me strength and courage to keep pressing on toward my fundraising goal, trusting you for the results. Amen.

“Suppose one of you has a hundred sheep and loses one of them. Doesn’t he leave the ninety-nine in the open country and go after the lost sheep until he finds it?” (Luke 15:4)

Have you heard of Jose Monkey? He is a YouTube creator who specializes in geolocation. Viewers film a 360-degree video at a mystery location and submit it with the challenge, “Jose Monkey, Find Me!” Jose scours the footage for clues: a fuzzy street sign, a distant mountain range, a bend in a river. He cross-references what he sees on Google Maps, Street View, and satellite imagery until he pinpoints the spot. Some searches take minutes. A few take hours. But when he lands on it, he announces with quiet satisfaction, “Guys, that was it.”

Jose says finding someone takes three things: clever deductions, technical skill, and pure determination. That is also a pretty good job description for a gift officer pursuing lapsed donors.

Clever Deductions
The shepherd had no GPS. He followed tracks. He spotted a tuft of wool snagged on a thornbush. He read the landscape and pieced together a trail. When a donor goes quiet, retrace their steps. When did they last give? Did they attend an event? Was there a meeting that never got a follow-up? This is exactly why thorough CRM records matter. Log every gift, every email, every conversation. You are leaving a trail for the next person who needs to find what you almost lost.

Technical Skill
The internet rewards the patient researcher. LinkedIn reveals career history. Facebook surfaces family milestones. Local newspaper archives capture business news and community involvement. Obituaries are some of the greatest research tools because they map family trees and open doors to relatives you never knew were connected to your mission. Wealth screening tools go further still, surfacing property holdings, business interests, foundation affiliations, and giving history. Do your homework before you make the call.

Pure Determination
We read about the shepherd finding his sheep and skip straight to the celebration. Think about what came between. The terrain was rough. It may have been dark. There were real reasons to stay by the fire. He went anyway. Re-engaging a lapsed donor can take a week or a year. Do not give up too soon.

The Human Connection
Jose Monkey doesn’t ask for help, but you should. Sometimes the door is locked and you need a friend with a key. Jeff had the right phone number, but his donor William used call-screening software that blocked unrecognized voices. So, Jeff called their mutual friend Joe and asked him to give William a heads-up. Joe made the call. The door opened. The warmest path back to a relationship is often through someone they already trust.

Think About This: The shepherd found his sheep and threw a party. That is the energy you bring to re-winning a donor. Someone who once believed in your mission enough to give is worth every clue followed, every search run, every awkward ask of a mutual friend. Go find them.

Response: Lord, guide me to the donors who have drifted away. Open the right doors and bring the right friends alongside. Give me the patience to search well and the joy of finding what was lost. Amen.

“But so that we may not cause offense, go to the lake and throw out your line. Take the first fish you catch; open its mouth and you will find a four-drachma coin. Take it and give it to them for my tax and yours” (Matthew 17:27).

Expert fishing guides spend years learning the water. They know where the fish hang out in every season, which bait produces strikes, and when the conditions are just right. Hire one and they will put you on the fish every time.

The disciples had a tax problem and Jesus offered a simple solution: one line, one fish, one coin. In this miracle, Jesus is the guide. He knew exactly where to fish, what to expect, and what it would provide. It was exactly the right amount at exactly the right time, delivered in a way no one could have planned.
Legendary fundraising consultant Jerry Panas spent decades studying what separates successful major gift asks from unsuccessful ones. His Six Rights of Fundraising states: “Successful fundraising is the right person asking the right prospective donor for the right amount for the right project at the right time in the right way.”

The Right Person. The asker must have a genuine personal connection with the donor or bring someone along who does. Before you ask, build the bridge.

The Right Prospective Donor. Your goal is finding the person who has the capacity and the calling to make a difference. Capacity without passion and passion without capacity both fall short of transformational giving.

The Right Amount. Ask too low and you leave resources on the table. Ask too high without preparation and you damage the relationship. Do your homework and be willing to name a number with confidence.

The Right Project. Some donors love capital projects. Others want to fund programs that change lives directly. Listen well to match their heart to the right opportunity.

The Right Time. Timing in fundraising is not about your calendar. It is about the donor’s life and readiness. Stay in relationship, stay patient, and stay attentive.

The Right Way. The best fundraisers are the best listeners. Listening equips you to craft an ask that feels personal rather than scripted. That kind of ask is hard to say no to.

The Seventh Right: The Right Prayer. Panas set the table beautifully but overlooked the most important element: prayer.

You can execute all six rights flawlessly and still walk away without a gift. Your skill and strategy can put you in the right room at the right moment, but only the Holy Spirit can move a heart to be generous. Before every major ask, pray specifically. Ask the Spirit to identify the right donor, give you wisdom about the right amount, and prepare the donor’s heart before you ever sit down with them. Then release the outcome. Your job is faithfulness. The results belong to God.

Think About This: We share the story. We make the ask. But we cannot manufacture the response. That has always been the work of the Spirit.

Response: Lord, lead me to the donor you have already prepared, give me wisdom for the right ask, and remind me that what I cannot manufacture, you can simply speak into being. Amen.