Abigail faced a crisis. David was ticked, rallied his bill collectors, and was fixinโ to make a house call. When Abigail discovered Nabalโs faux pas she jumped into action, gathered many gifts, and rushed to cut off David at the pass before he could cut off Nabalโs head.
This exhilarating story directly applies to ministries who fumble their major donor relationships. โAn offended friend is harder to win back than a fortified cityโ (Proverbs 18:19 NLT). More than one ministry has exasperated a key donor. Sometimes the issues are minor; sometimes they are epic. In either case, you donโt want major donors shaking the dust off their feet and walking away. Consider these six recovery strategies.
1.ย Go Immediately. Abigail lost no time because every minute she delayed put her family at risk. โSettle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to courtโ (Matthew 5:25). Donโt lull yourself to sleep by thinking โtime will heal all wounds.โ When someone is offended you must quickly schedule a face-to-face meeting. Be open and transparent about what happened and how you intend to solve the problem.
2.ย Express Humility. Abigail bowed down before David and said, โPardon your servant, my lordโ (1 Sam. 25:24). Genuine humility and repentance promote reconciliation. Abigail wasnโt the one who offended David, but she was the one who took responsibility. You may not have been the one who offended your donor, but as the ministry representative, you must take responsibility.
3.ย Speak Truthfully. Donors value truth. Abigail was brutally honest, โPlease pay no attention, my lord, to that wicked man Nabal. He is just like his nameโhis name means Fool, and folly goes with him.โ Donโt use this as a proof text for calling your boss a fool, but if someone in your ministry said or did something inappropriate, face it head on.
4.ย Resolve the Conflict. Abigail didnโt just speak words, she acted. All the gifts she brought paid Davidโs bill for guarding Nabalโs flocks (1 Sam. 25:27). When you have an opportunity to right a wrong, do it even when it costs something. Your ministry will benefit in the long run.
5.ย See Your Donorโs Viewpoint. Abigail was shrewd in her comments and reminded David that he would regret avenging himself. You can also reason with your offended donor. โA soft answer turns away wrathโ (Proverbs 15:1). Help them see how God can use this situation for his glory.
6.ย Seek Reconciliation. Abigail accomplished her mission. David said, โGo home in peace. I have heard your words and granted your requestโ (1 Sam. 25:35). Abigail wisely reconciled with this future major donor. Take every donor relationship seriously.
Response: Father, forgive us for needlessly offending our major donors. Open our eyes to any ways we have hurt others so we can reconcile with them.
Think About This: Donโt give up even if your relationship seems unsalvageable. โThrough love and faithfulness sin is atoned forโ (Proverbs 16:6). Keep loving your offended major donors. Perhaps one day God will bring reconciliation.
Have a Spirit-led fundraising week,
Ron
Ron Haasย has served the Lord as a pastor, the vice
president of advancement of a Bible college, a Christian foundation director, a board member and a fundraising consultant. Heโs authored two books:ย Ask for a Fishย โ Bold Faith-Based Fundraising andย Simply Shareย โ Bold, Grace-Based Giving. He regularly presents fundraising workshops at ministry conferences and has written fundraising articles forย At the Center magazineย andย Christian Leadership Allianceโs Outcomes magazine.




